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Fun For The "Whole" Family? I Think Not

6/26/2013

The Bitter Truth is that family trips are rarely "Fun For The WHOLE Family." For most parents get a raw deal. You spend so much time making sure your kids have a great time (that they will remember for the rest of their lives) that you end up tired and stressed. You have to drive and hours behind the wheel listening to the songs your kids dig played over and over again is painful. Thankfully my kids have moved on from the kiddie songs like "Wheels On The Bus" and "Row Row Your Boat." But I ask, is hearing "I Don't Care" by Icona Pop 15 times in a row that much better?

This summer will test my meddle. I'm not working, and can't afford to put the kids in camp (because I'm not working) so the summer of 2013 is on me. I have to plan FUN every day. "KAMP KEITH" has so far taken the kids to Palm Springs, Hearst Castle, Knott's Bery Farm, to see "Monster's University," Universal City Walk, and i-Phone shopping. Up next? Bowling and Disneyland.

And that is just the first week! How will I keep them from saying "Dad, I'm bored!" for the next 2 plus months? I have no idea. With limited cash to spend and temps expected in the high 90s it will be rough. I'm open to ideas. Whatever we do I know there will be moments of failure and pure exhaustion. I also hope there will be moments of joy and celebrations. Because Family Fun is work for me, and any parents that try to make something special of the summer. I love my kids but Family Fun for me involves my couch, old TV shows and a Del's Lemonade and that's The Bitter Truth.

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Asians Take Polariods

6/11/2013

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The Bitter Truth is Asians like to take photographs. Yet there are no world famous Asian photographers. And no, Annie Lebowitz isn't Asian, she just looks that way. Okay maybe that is a truth from the 1980s where it seemed every Asian tourist had a large camera (or cameras) around their neck. Maybe because the technology in their home countries was so good they all had cameras. I'm not sure. Nowadays seems we are all Asian and we as a culture are obsessed with taking pictures. Of everything. And then posting them for the world to see. Notice I didn't say enjoy.

Seems you can't go to a concert without some drunk holding up their iPhone in front of me blocking my view of the show so they can capture the amazing moment forever. Or at least until they post it to Instagram. They are so busy trying to document the experience they actually don't experience anything.

If that isn't annoying enough there are people taking pictures of themselves. Those little moments of Narcissistic behavior are called "Selfies." The worst are people who feel the need to take photos of everything that they eat. Pre and post chow down. Not everything needs to be photographed I know that sounds odd coming from a guy who had thousands of celebrity photo ops. But it's true. Thanks to modern technology we are now that Asain over doing it with a camera. It is time to just stop photographing luife and start living it and that's The Bitter Truth. Oh and hipsters, yes, I took the name of this post from an album title from the band Japan, who aren't Asian.

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That Movie Was Retarded. I'm Sorry, "Special Needs."

6/1/2013

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The Bitter Truth is we just sat through a retarded screening of the animated film "Epic." Unknown to us we went to AMC in Burbank, CA for the first screening of the day as we've done hundreds of times before. We love starting our Saturday am with a new kids movie. The theater is super clean, the popcorn fresh and the first screening is always discounted (yeah I'm cheap!) As we heading to the theater I noticed the words SF on our tickets. Not sure what that meant I didn't pay it any mind. Well I wish I had!

Once the movie started overactive children started to run around the theater Some laughing. Some moaning. A child who appeared to be 14 of so ran up to the screen and started to rub and hug it while the preview for "Smurfs 2" played. Okay. Maybe he just really likes The Smurfs. Then he started humping the images. He REALLY likes Smurfs. Another kid started to bang his head into the palm of his hand again and again. And Again. We started to think, "What the funk? Can't people control their kids?" Several other families without over active kids send parents out to complain. A manger type popped her head in and tried to control the kids. They would settle down for a few moments then go at it again once she left.

It wasn't until the movie ended that we realized this was a retarded (not PC term, I know) Movie. Turn out the mysterious SF on our tickets stood for Sensory Friendly. Do you know what that means? Probably not unless there is a special needs kid in your life. It means this showing of the film is set for Special Need folks.
We had not idea! And we were not alone. Several other families at the film didn't know what SF meant. They left as angry as we did. We all just wanted to see the first screening on the day and ended up with a miserable experience. How is anyone without a special needs child supposed to know that the SF code (As I said I learned hours later stands for Sensory Friendly) means that special needs kids are welcome to run and scream around the theater?

Why the funk didn't the pimple faced kid who sold us tickets at the AMC tell us that the 10am was for kids with special needs and that maybe we would prefer to see the 10:20 movie that was not "Sensory Friendly?" See I didn't say the 10:20 "Normal" screening. I get that autistic children and retarded (dated term I know) adults want to enjoy films. And I applaud AMC for setting something up for them. But WHY THE FUNK DIDN'T YOU LET THE REST OF US KNOW?! And why didn't the AMC manager try to make up for the bad experience? Saying "I'm sorry but ti is a SF screening" when we don't know what the Funk SF means is not making us feel better. I saw 5 families with NON-Special Needs kids leave angry as hell. A handful of free passes and some re-training for your box office staff would go a long way towards making your customers happy. How bout it AMC? There are hundreds of places to see movies in L.A. and I won't be rushing back to AMC in Burbank, where we've gone for 10 plus years, anytime soon.

And to anyone who wants to attack me for speaking my mind. Eat it! I know it's tough to have special needs kids. And this post says nothing bad about them or your struggle. And I know how lucky I am that my kids don't have issues. I compliment AMC for providing a showing of a film especially for you and yours. I just wish they had made us aware before or at least did Something for us after. AMC failed here and that's the Bitter Truth.

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Fun For The "Whole" Family? I Think Not

Asians Take Polariods

That Movie Was Retarded. I'm Sorry, "Special Needs."

Keith Valcourt

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