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Live Fast.  Die Young.  Get An Emmy Tribute!

9/23/2013

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The Bitter Truth is that Hollywood (especially the TV industry) doesn't give a shit about the icons and innovators that helped make it popular.  Case in point, last nights' Emmy Broadcast. 
The "In Memoriam" section paid tribute to the TV stars who died this year.  They went on about James Gandolfini (warranted) and "Glee" star Corey Monteith. (Not so much.)  The did not however choose to mention 2 huge TV giants we also lost--Jack Klugman and Larry Hagman.  Because after all "Glee" is a far more important show than "The Odd Couple," "I Dream Of Jeanie," "Quincy" or "Dallas"  Right?  No.

Corey Montieth did one show, for less than 5 seasons.  Hardly a star in the grand tradition of TV.  His death tribute should have been a 20 second flash on the screen, not a long drawn out presentation.  Where else but Hollywood could a drug addict be given such a lovely send off?  Why did he get undue respect?  It's simple.  He was young and beautiful when he died.  Like at Marilyn Monroe and James Dean before him, Corey was a mediocre actor who left early.  Think about it.  Has Brando died moments after he yelled "Stella!" instead of years later when he was fat beyond reason, we would remember him as a genius and not the bloated joke he became.  Same for Liz Taylor and Orson Wells.  Note to Lindsey Lohan, times up! If you hope for a loving tribute best to O.D. now. 
   
In America we are quick to discard our history as old news.  Tear down classic well built buildings to put up another strip mall.  Call it progress.  Old TV stars are old news.  A few years back I was lucky enough to be friends with Joey Bishop, the legendary comic and actor.  In his career Bishop did 65 films, countless TV shows (including his own sitcom and late night talk show) and tens of thousands of club gigs.  Before Jay Leno came along, Joey Bishop guest hosted "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" more times than anyone else.  He also hosted John F Kennedy's inaugural ball.  Headlined Vegas.  He was the most important member of The Rat Pack.  "He is the oil that makes the act run.  Without him, there would be no show."  Not my quote.  Frank Sinatra's to Time Magazine in the 1960s.  Yet when he passed both the Emmys and Oscars neglected to mention him in their tributes.  

A few year previous I tried to get Joey Bishiop a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.  I even met with "Honorary Hollywood Mayor" Johnny Grant.  That little turd said, "Not sure we can do anything.  does he have anything new going on?"  Nope.  He's just a legend. Grant did mention that if I could come up with Ten Thousand Dollars then maybe we could "Make It Happen."  Seems that movie & TV companies with things to promote pay to get their casts stars on the walk of fame.  They buy the stars!  Shocking?  No.  Ultimately my request for a star for Joey Bishop, who had done more in Hollywood than most ,was denied.  The chamber of commerce decided that Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Lopez and even the above mentioned Johnny Grant were more worthy of the honor than Joey.

The Emmy's snub of Jack Klugman and Larry Hagman were shocking but not surprising.  Nobody cares about the TV stars of the past.  Except me, and I hope you.  And that's The Bitter Truth.   

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Miss America: Racism Alive & Well In The USA

9/16/2013

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The Bitter Truth is that as far as we have come, we still have miles to go in America when it comes to ending racism.  Case in point the hate filled comments that peppered the internet after Miss New York, Nina Davuluri, a dark skinned woman of Indian decent, was crowned Miss America.  Twitter post like "OMG a Dot Head is Miss America" and "Obama must be a happy a Muslim is now Miss America" flooded social media. 

Never mind that Nina is beautiful, although not in the traditional Southern Bleached Blonde Miss Piggy way we are used to capturing the crown.  Forget that she is smart (getting a degree) or that she wants top help the recent fire torn town of Seaside Heights, New Jersey.  All that some ignorant people saw was the color of her skin.  Proof positive that America is full of racists. 

I've witnessed it first hand.  I know, you're looking at my pale white exterior and think "White boy please!"  True, I'm white.  And Middle class.  But my wife, the love of my life, mother of my kids is not.  She's dark skinned Asian.  Some think her Indian or even African American.  But I choose her for the love in her heart, not skin color.  I ignored my grandmother's advice "Don't marry a Darkie."  Okay, she was from a different generation and gave my that tip to me in the 1970s.  Times were different then.  (or were they) I'm not calling my grandma a racist, she was a lovely woman full of heart and caring for everyone. The statement was something that came from her upbringing in the 1930s.  When people didn't know better.  But this is 2014 and they should now!

Nope.  Many time in her presence I have seen racism up close.  Dozens of times, people who would never think of themselves as ignorant have asked, "What are you?"  Some still use the term "Oriental."  Because we live in liberal California and often vacation in even more free New York City we easily forget that we are an inter-racial couple with mixed kids.   On a recent trip to Florida we were dirty eyeballed by several hat wearing, God fearing locals at a local Cracker Barrel when my dark wife and I entered with our mixed kids.  Years ago when we first started dating we were in the backwoods of Maine looking for a breakfast spot.  We went to an empty Denny's (this was years before they were proved racist) and we seated in the back of the restaurant by a pile of dirty dished and garbage.  When we asked for a better seat (the place only had 2 other couple eating there) we were told "This is the only table we have for your type."  We left, but not until I called out the manager. 

Racism exists in some places it always will.  Miss America is beautiful.  And she is dark skinned.  And ignorant racists comments shouldn't ruin her moment and that's the Bitter Truth.  

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Bitter Bits

9/15/2013

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The Bitter Truth is I often come up with little "Pearl Of Wisdom" I think will make for good blog posts.  Put they are often too short to stand alone.  So today I offer "Bitter Bits" a few small nuggets of Bitter Truth. 

The Bitter Truth is that when a billboard of a smiling white guy running for political office gets placed and an urban area it is certain that someone will vandalize it.  Adding devil horns, demon eyes, a thick mustache or clever lines about the person's mother or sexuality.  Spray paint will be used. And 9 times out of 10 it makes the billboard better.  Make that 10 times out of ten.  And that's the Bitter Truth. 

The Bitter Truth is people who get stuck in the middle seat on an airplane deserve to be there.  The sad looking business man crammed between the fat lady with a lap baby and the no stop taker with bad breath belongs in that hell.  Why?  Because he was not quick enough or smart enough to get an aisle or window seat.  In today's modern age only the weakest of the herd get stuck in the middle.  It's a "Circle Of Life Thing" and that's The Biter Truth.

The Bitter Truth is boobs are great.  Regardless of size or shape, breasts are God's greatest creation.  Man Boobs however are not.  And that's the Bitter Truth.








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Never Forget.  Because We Have To Remember.   

9/10/2013

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The Bitter Truth is some anniversaries you celebrate.  While other you wish never happened.  Case in point my first wedding.  I still get chills at the end of every May.  And September 11th (aka 911.)  I remember that horrible day 12 years ago.   Marivi & I were already living in Los Angeles and she was pregnant with our first child Audrey.  We got up early as usual, turning on the TV just as the first plane slammed into the world trade center.  "What the hell was that?"  I asked Marivi.  We were both shocked by what we saw.  Maybe it wasn't real.  Maybe it was just a scene from the latest Michael Bay film.  It couldn't be real.  We stood starring.  The phone rang shaking us out of our daze.  It was Marivi's sister Tisha, "They're attacking the city!  They're attacking New York!" she yelled.  That was the moment we saw the second plane slam into the other tower.

I don't  remember much of what happened for the next half and hour.  More panicked calls from New York City and Rhode Island.  More speculation on the TV.  Something about a plane going down in Pennsylvania.  And one hitting the Pentagon.  Idiot Los Angeles broadcasters talked about how L.A. was a target.  Man, this place wants to be New York so bad, even in a tragedy.   Not really knowing what to do we both kissed, wiped away our tears and drove to our jobs.  Why we didn't we just stay home?  I have no idea.  Shock led to us just trying to go about our routine.  Maybe routine would make things better. 

  I remember how eerie my drive was to Paramount Pictures.  Everyone on the 101 seemed to be driving in slow motion.  People were crying in their cars.  Some were screaming.  Other just looked dazed like me.  Numb.  Instead of radios blasting out songs they all blared AM radio news.  It was surreal.  I drove trough the gates and made my way to the stage that housed the sitcom "Andy Richter Controls The Universe."  Along the way I saw small groups of people consoling each other.  Ted Danson hugged a female co-star who was balling her eyes out. Each step took forever.  This isn't real.  It can't be real.  Please don't let it be real. 

We waited on stage, listening to a cheap am radio broadcasting updates.  Eventually everyone was told to just go home.  I called Marivi and she too was on her way back to our place.  Another trippy out of body experience drive down the 101.  We arrived home within seconds of each other.  Locked the doors.  And climbed into bed.  Silently.  We watched the new coverage.  The footage of the crashes played over and over and over again.  After about and hour we turned off the coverage and just laid in bed.  Silent.  Holding on to each other.  Wondering what kind of world we were about to bring our daughter into.  Terrorists?  How?  Why?  Hoping our New York City friends were alright.  We just laid there trying to fall asleep.  It wasn't even 5pm. 

Today is the 12th anniversary of that tragic moment in history.  And even though we wish it never happened, 911 did, and it forever changed our lives.  We lost so  much that day.  Those innocent victims.  The heroes.  The joy of flying.  No more reasonably priced bottled water.  No more shoes.  Those majestic buildings.  Not to mention the hundreds of people who died in the years that followed from breathing in the dust everyone from first responders to singer Donna Summer (She blamed 911 for her cancer.) We lost our sense of security.  We no longer felt safe in our own homes.  Safe in our own country. 


Somehow we found the strength to live on.  Because we are Americans and that is what we do.  We win.  Not someone hell bent to destroying our spirit.  So on 911 we remember and pray to God it never ever happened again.  That's The Bitter Truth. 

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Back On The Blog

9/10/2013

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The Bitter Truth is I'm not a "new kid" but I am back on the block.  Or is it blog?  The summer had ended, the kids are happily back in school and I once again have things to say.  Hope everyone enjoyed their "Vacation."  Although the definition of vacation means time off from work to have fun.  Truth is for me it was Time off with no work, working my ass off so the kids can have fun.  And fun we had.  From theme parks to meeting their favorite stars, my kids had a full and awesome adventure between June and August 2013.  Me?  I enjoyed watching them and even though there were several moments where I lost my cool , mostly at McDonald's drive through employees near Knott's Berry Farm, (No Cheese means NO CHEESE!) It was a good summer.

But not blogging meant I missed several comment worthy events.  So here's some quick thoughts.  Royal Baby? Who cares?  He's going to be bald and have bad teeth by the time he's 30.  My kids are cuter. The big story was how one man could murder another man and be found not guilty thanks to a "Stand Your Ground" law.  The kids was unarmed and Zimmerman is a wanna be "Dirty Harry."  No surprise that just this week he was arrested on a gun related issue.  I'm all for self protection but this guy is a killer. 


And those seem to be the only events I remember from the summer.  Maybe my time was better spent building memories with my kids?  Yes it was.  And that's the not so Bitter Truth. 

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    Keith Valcourt

    Being a dad is the greatest job I've ever had.  And it's a huge pain in the ass. 

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