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Long Scarfs =Invitation For Death

4/1/2013

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The Bitter Truth is if you wear a long scarf, I'm talking scarfs that trail down to the ground like Crystal Gayle's hair did in the 1980s, then you deserve to die.   I was at the mall recently when I noticed some Euro Trash Douche Bag (sorry I judge a book by it's cover) stumbling over his foolishly long scarf.  As he approached the escalator I couldn't help myself.  The dad in my yelled out. "Be Careful!"  After all I don't want anyone to die of self strangulation in front of my kids.

The snarky dude just scowled at me and gave me the finger.  Also in front of my kids.  Nice move Sergio Valentload.  At that point I thought, "You know what douche nozzle please die!"  I then imagined that the scarf would get caught up in the metallic stairs of the escalator then dragging the idiot to his knees as he choked himself out.  That of the yawn from the scarf would cut into his pencil thin neck causing his head to pop off and fly downwards into the fountain in front of the Disney Store.

That didn't happen.  Scarfy went on his merry way as did we.  But this chance encounter got me thinking that
No one should wear a scarf in Los Angeles, especially on a day that was well over 80 degrees.  Scarfs should be restricted to those who ski and snowboard.   And anyone wearing one longer than 4-6 feet long should be arrested or at least have the scarf taken away form them and that's The Bitter Truth.


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    Keith Valcourt

    Being a dad is the greatest job I've ever had.  And it's a huge pain in the ass. 

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