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Tattoo You.  Not me.  You

5/30/2013

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The Bitter Truth is if you have a tattoo on your face, neck or tit, you're most likely not in high finance.  And forgive if if I don't want to give you my money to look after.  Not happening.  And also you can't watch my kids.  Sorry, someone who dedicated their entire life to getting everything tattooed probably isn't a great babysitter.  This post was generated after I heard a guy with a skeleton tattooed on his face complaining to another guy with a spiderweb tattooed on his bald head that he "Couldn't get no damn good job yo."  He went on to blame "The man for keeping me down."  Okay look I am not against Tattoos.  But if you cover you neck, face and head with them don't complain that society is out to get you because you can't get certain jobs.  You are scary!  You look like a super villain, not a banker. 

Tattoos are expressions of who you are.  I have no issue with people who choose to illustrate their life on their skin.  It's your story to tell and if you choose to speak it in ink.  That's cool. 

But there are restrictions.  To be honest I don't have any Tats.  I did 0nce considered getting a small Herve' Villechaize tattoo on my arm.  That way I could say "Hey you wanna see my Tattoo?" and then reveal my ink of the character Tattoo from "Fantasy Island."  Funny?  What?  You don't remember "Fantasy Island?"  See the reference is dated already.  That's why I didn't get it.  You really have to think long and hard about what you put on your body.  It should be forever.  Sure you can get them removed now with a painful laser but no one likes a quitter.  


And if you tattoos creep up from from your arms to chest and then to neck and face be prepared to be looked at differently.  (Isn't that honestly why you got a face tat in the first place?)  And there will be jobs no one will hire you for despite your skill set.  If you have face tattoos you may have to settle for being a biker, or extra on "Sons Of Anarchy" or contestant on "Cupcake Wars" (seriously what's with bakers & tattoos.)  Know that going in.  If you want to ink yourself go ahead.  Just think before you ink.  Get whatever you want.  Except the "Tramp Stamp" that's just for porn stars or whores.  Same thing really
.  And that's The Bitter Truth.




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    Keith Valcourt

    Being a dad is the greatest job I've ever had.  And it's a huge pain in the ass. 

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